Everyone displeased with the "mirror city curse" may well form an orderly mob and storm the Deities' Office.

Then again, most of you are likely still in that other city. ..And how remarkably quiet my building has been because of it. I have filed no end of paperwork in the last few days.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

The elaboration of the 'disorders' appears to be accurate. I would hesitate to classify the desire for neatness and the ability to be emotionally distant as negative, however, and the stoics would likely ally themselves with me.

Cultural norms appear to dictate such things.

[private to Mirka//unhackable]

Your Grace, ordinarily I would hesitate to interfere where a capable woman has her hands, but I must ask you if you are managing this drought well enough to need no assistance.

[/private]

I spy with my little eye...

Something sepia.

Its recovery would be commendable.




[ooc; Come on. Don't tell me you didn't see this coming.]

For those of you wondering why certain parties remained behind instead of kicking and clawing for the boats, I would direct you to the Roundworld philosophical study of evolutionary ethics, to examine at your leisure.

For the rest of you, particularly those in my apartment, I request quiet, please. I've found that death, even a transient kind, leaves one with a profound migraine, and I would so hate to share such a thing.

Rincewind? A cup of tea, if you are otherwise unoccupied.

[Private to the Deities]
Always a pleasure.
[/private]

[Private to Mirka Fortuna//Unhackable]
Duchess, I do profusely apologise for any worry incurred on my behalf. I still wish to meet with you at some point this following week, presuming you are not too angry with me.
[/private]

[Private to the Major//quasi-unhackable]
I must say, it was very generous of you to offer a hypothetical rescue.
[/private]

[Private to Blitza//unhackable]
Fully recovered, I trust.
[/private]

[A tall, thin looking man in dusty black robes makes his way quickly along one of the corridors; he has a cane, but he doesn't use it. There's no need.]

And I believe... ah, yes.. just up and to the left..

[fingers are gripped white-knuckled to the cane in his fist, but there's no other outward sign of worry or distress as he enters the wheelhouse. In his mind's eye is a slow and steady hourglass, and he aims to tilt it, ever so slightly.]

Minutes are the currency of the realm, it seems.

[ooc; Vetinari's literally aiming to postpone the sinking of the ship by minutes, and yes, he plans to stay in the area until the ship is gone. Mod approved. ♥ And whether or not he knows curse deaths don't count is, of course, left up to you to guess, dear readers]

Curious.

Satisfactory, but hardly my apartment.

Very curious.

Thoughts, anyone?

[Private to the Major//Unhackable]

Major, our chess game appears to have been delayed to some point in the doubtlessly mysterious future. I do hope you understand. Unless of course this is your vessel, and somehow I am loathe to suggest it. It simply doesn't bristle enough.

[/Private]

[Private to the Duchess Fortuna//Quasi-unhackable]

Keeping well, your Grace?

[/private]

[ooc; because I really couldn't resist. I'm weak. I've strayed! And yes, that is a first class cabin, and yes wikipedia is awesome. I never saw the movie, okay. ._.]

It would appear that a curse is in effect which has not affected me. Remarkable. I was beginning to think I'd need to tolerate ...what is it today? "Age"..

Ah, yes. Advanced, this time, and not regressed. Well, that is an inevitable process, is it not. But all things in their time, I would hope.

( [Private to Miss Fortuna, practically unhackable] )

( [Private to Seras Victoria, practically unhackable;] )

[ooc; As usual, Vetinari's bluffing with a two of hearts and an old maid, at least as regards Seras - his information net's not that good (read: non-existent), but he's fishing, himself, and trying to be genuinely helpful.
As for Fortuna, everyone knows the Patrician doesn't flirt, so even if they managed to hack it, surely they'd think they were getting a jumble of encrypted data, or perhaps... a cipher within an encryption. (There is a cipher, if you look closely... hint is just before two, just after two, and so on. If the curiosity kills you, feel free to IM me and I'll let you know. XD He's having fun)]

As regards the current Warden situation, I would urge the electorate to, after having made up their own minds, of course, cast their votes for Sergeant Sagara Sousuke. His experience with prior Wardens and willingness not to treat the position with megalomania are his strongest selling points.

I also strongly suspect one or two of the other candidates will use this position as an excuse to cannibalise their opposition. I am against that on principal, as it's somewhat wasteful, I believe.

Ultimately, one must only elect whom he or she feels represents their best interests, however.

I have, to date, been in The City for two weeks and two days.

During that time while I have occupied an apartment here, I have been a woman, I have been returned chronologically to my late teens, I have been convinced of undying affections towards a young housemaid, I have found myself cleaning Rincewind's room and removing dirt from windows and food from dishes in a six-scrub counterclockwise rotation, and, most irritatingly of all, I have spent an entire day speaking in nothing but haiku.

[Private; filtered to the Deities, unhackable]

I am calling on you for a redress of grievances.

You have an appointment with me at your earliest convenience. Good day.
[/private]

[ooc; will be answering tags sometime this afternoon. ♥]

I've not imagined
A greater embarrassment
Speak of this no more.

[ooc; massive regret from yesterday - not so much the saving Horo, much more the being all ickle!innocent kid with Rosiel, who he's already pegged as Someone To Be Careful About. Torment at will. ♥]

Charming.

[ooc; admit it, he's a darling. Just call him "mum", won't you?]

Several hours of exploration have yielded little in the way of empirical information, but owing to a document offered me by a thoughtful young lady, I have begun to orient myself to the mechanisms of this city.

It is not unlike a clock in the same way that my city is, albeit this one's cogs seem far more warped by the workings of magic. It also appears to house considerable numbers of dangerous, deranged inhabitants (also not unlike my city). I am surprised it runs at all, although perhaps I should not be, if it is in the hands of gods.

[pause, brief turning of pages and small clatter as the device is set down]

I plan to write them a formal complaint, regarding the manner in which I came to be here. I will include several small notes regarding ways the City can be improved upon. I have that list here, and may see an opportunity to expound on it shortly.

Drumknott will feed Wuffles while I am away, and between his and Commander Vimes' attentions, my city will function for several weeks at an acceptable level.

I am loathe to return to Rincewind's apartment for the moment. I need not expound on that at all.

[OOC: Spam for Prez Zaphod; as well as a general declaration of Vetinari's intent to go autocratic on the asses of deities which is so much more effective than bombing, really. Not. Let the crack commence.]

Aural memo to myself, in the absence of a quill. Third Sektober, precisely 6:12 and thirty seven seconds.

It would appear that some well-meaning - and empty-headed - individual, possibly a student of the University, has opened another inter-dimensional rift in space. In my office, no less.

It is a sad day indeed when a man cannot innocently open a familiar door and find himself in the room he expected to enter. It makes the world somewhat more exciting, perhaps, but also highly inconvenient. I was planning a meeting with Dr. Whiteface, and now it will have to be curtailed, due to this development.

As for the location itself.

For all intents and purposes, it is a city, certainly, but it is far too clean to be my city - that fountain there, for example, would not so much spout as ooze.

[audio is more quiet, and closer to the mouthpiece]

There is also a ticking noise, which I believe to be a clock, whose origin is unknown. I plan to investigate this in a timely--ahah--manner, if I cannot immediately locate the door by which I entered.

[resumes normal volume]

In any event, further inquiries are clearly necessary.

[OOC: Crit, constructive or otherwise, goes here. Do tell me, I don't bite hard. :3

Comments are screened for your candid needs. ♥]